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Do you have a fear of adjusting with sister in laws?

  • 2019-03-15 20:39:15

I was discussing with one of my regular visitor in my shop who was still unmarried at 35. ‘What is your biggest concern?’ I asked him? His reply - We are three brothers and a divorced sister. We cuddle together happily and are emotionally attached. If my wife does not get along with my siblings then our unity and happiness might be ruined.

 

This man did not deny to get married but he wanted a wife who could adjust herself in his family environment. When you admit a new organ in your body, a kidney or an artificial tooth, your body might not be comfortable for sometime- say medical reports. No matter how good a person is, a new environment needs time to be adapted. Just consider this - You joined a new college or office, can you adapt on day one? 


There was another friend who had 5 sisters and he got married. I found them all happy and asked them the way how they managed it. His answer can be a guideline for many mothers - Our mother is very friendly. She always taught my sisters to participate in domestic works right from childhood. It continued even when we had a new girl in our family. My wife wonders aloud that your six sisters are so friendly and cooperative in kitchen and other chores that all the frightening stories I had heard about harsh sister in laws proved to be myth for me. The work is still divided into six parts, my wife being the sixth. Normally in other families a daughters take rest when brother’s wife enters kitchen, an Indian tradition. 


Human relationships is all about giving, more than taking. Ten years later when I visited the family again, I noted that four sisters had married happily and still visit their brother. The bond appeared intact when I saw their kids playing with each other.


 I have known that among the many criteria put up by the mothers of girls, one is - The boy should not have many sisters. The finest and easiest to apply tips for a girl who is getting married in a family with few daughters - 


  1. Set your attitude straight- It is blessing to have many daughters. A family that can accomodate daughters can easily and happily accommodate daughter in law too. 
  2. Don’t measure how much work you have done - Quality and quantity of work cannot be measured easily. The precious hopeful verse from Surah Ar-Rahman assures - Can there be a better compensation for excellence, other than excellence? - So you keep doing your duties and let Allah keep account. 
  3. Do not nag about sisters in law before your husband - The siblings have grown up together, loving, quarreling and sharing. Let the bond be there. Charm your husband by sharing good things about his sisters and you will see goodness bringing in goodness in return.

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